Are you a tabloid reporter stuck for a salacious story?
This Random Brothel Exposé Generator helps you get the job done - while allowing sex workers to get their own jobs done in peace!

Tips for your brothel exposé:

→ Aim for that exciting combination of sexy and scary. Exotification and fat-shaming are additional tactics you might like to use.

→ To drum up extra indignation, juxtapose information about local property rental prices with highly optimistic projections of sex workers' earnings.

→ Ensure your readers are not disappointed by an absence of explicit sexual content - providing detailed descriptions of the establishment's decor ought to make up for this.

Brought to you by Nine (@supernowoczesna) at
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With thanks to
@tushy_galore &
for suggestions

Extra special thanks to @nickautomatic
for fixing my horrible code

Ideas? Feedback? More tabloid buzzwords?
→ nine at jinxremoving dot org

behind the scenes at local

(Accompanying image: )

are a .

It looks just like any normal street in Insert Town Here, but today we reveal the shocking truth of sex for cash behind closed doors.

The discovery of the comes shortly after attempts to clamp down on the trade by .

, walk past the all the time, the inside.

During the day, can even be heard by those within the .

After seeing a advertisement , our reporter made an appointment to visit the premises for an hour.

Upon arrival he was greeted at the door by woman in her wearing a .

With a strong accent and a , she welcomed him inside.

He was shown into a and living room with and .

A woman calling herself , wearing and scantily in a negligée, underwear and high heels, appeared and invited our reporter warmly into the master bedroom.

The low-lit room with walls had a bed and .

On a bedside table were condoms, lubricants and , leaving little to the imagination.

and attractive, said it was Insert Price Here for an hour-long session.

Speaking English with a thick accent and a , she confirmed that the price included sex.

Our reporter paid her in cash and she , , presumably to hand it over to .

On returning, she offered to start .

Asked if she knew about the nearby , she rolled her eyes and said she didn't mind it.

"," she said.

Our reporter pressed her for more details of her personal life, but she . When she invited him to , he made his excuses and left.

with knowledge of told us that these women - many - up to a day.

Indeed, thirty minutes after leaving the premises, our reporter noted a man in a arriving at the building.

"It's a far cry from ," cautioned the expert.

Representatives from , the police and the council met earlier this week to formulate a plan of action.

Despite a long-running initiative to divert into , uptake has remained consistently low.

, had indicated that she preferred to earn .

Local residents told us that they had been unaware of the , but we found one who added, "It is an outrage that I am forced to endure living next to this."

Not shocking enough?